It’s a new level of sensitivity to add to our daily consciousness. It’s hard to deal with so many needs (especially when the ones in your own home scream so loudly!) but the fact that the Torah especially singles out widows and orphans teaches us something – it’s too easy to forget about them and their pain is very great. “I got just a taste this week,” she told me, “of what it must be like to be a widow.” And I got the chills once again. She explained to Beth who of course understood, and they danced with joy together at the wedding.īut Sara did not get invited to even one Sheva Bracha. Additionally, Sara usually makes Sheva Brachos, a post-wedding celebratory meal for her friend’s children, but without her husband to do the heavy lifting and lead the event, she didn’t feel comfortable. Her husband was upset that he couldn’t participate in the simcha. He husband was simply out of town for the two crucial weeks when the daughter of her close friend, Beth, was getting married. The plight of widows was highlighted for me recently when a friend told me this story: She (my pal Sara) is, thank God, not a widow. While we don’t want our conversations to be artificial (that can be just as awkward and painful), we need to evaluate the consequences of our words before we say them, not after. Because I thought about myself instead of her before I spoke. In my weak efforts to assuage my guilt about the homework, I may have inadvertently caused her pain.
This woman’s husband was now never around to help or ease her burden. I could have bitten my tongue as soon as the words left my mouth. One night my son forgot to do his homework and I remember giving her the lame excuse that my husband was out of town so I couldn’t get to it.
When my son was in one of his earlier grades (it’s all a blur now so don’t quiz me on which one!) his teacher was a young widow with a houseful of children. We gasp in horror at such a tale, yet we ourselves may not always be as thoughtful – in the small and larger ways – as we should be. Yet as soon as the rabbi passed away, the board evicted his wife from their home. Part of their compensation was the house they lived in. I heard a chilling story once about a rabbi and his wife who had served a small community for over 40 years (an amazing feat it and of itself!). The Torah admonishes us to be particularly sensitive to the needs of a widow or orphan, to be conscious of their pain and their loneliness. “You shall not cause pain to any widow or orphan.” Exodus 22:21 Their pain is very great and it’s too easy to forget about them.
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